Broken wings Can Fly-

You asked the question,
Here’s my reply-
I cant tell you why those men-
Broke you that night;
can’t tell you why your mother,
Drunk herself mad;
can’t take back the childhood,
That destroyed your life;
can’t shut out the voices,
That’s screaming aloud;
Can’t make you believe in-
The body you have;
Can’t force off the blade from-
Your hands every night.

Can’t tell you to get over it-
That’s not right;
But together we’ll get through it-
That’s my pact;
Together we’ll sit through,
The dark till it’s bright;
I’ll bind up the wrists till-
You needn’t do that;
We’ll seek help together-
And wade through setbacks;
Together we’ll make it and
Don’t ask me why?
I love you my girl and
Believe in the lines-
Even broken wings
Can still learn to fly.

Originally written 24/August/2014

No judgements here-

You see the scars,
Displayed upon my skin;
Each bearing a story,
(Humorous of course)
Of a rebellious kid:

The 10 stair jump,
The bull chasing scare,
The crawling on limestones,
For the reward of a lollipop.

You see the scars,
Displayed upon my skin,
The ones with most impact
Though- I hold within.
Safely guarded:
From all’s prying eyes,
From questions whose answers,
I’m not ready to divulge.

You see the scars,
I let you view;
Don’t judge the whole me, 
The real me,
From just your pieces.

 

 

Mental Health Friday: #1

I was first diagnosed with Early Onset Bipolar Disorder when I was five years old. At that time, my mother did not accept the diagnosis and moved forward with no help. At the age of 23, after I had my first child, I was diagnosed again. I did not accept my diagnosis at that time. At the age of 31, I was once again diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and PTSD. I accepted my diagnosis’ and went for treatment.

Through my life, there have been great losses and broken relationships due to the stigma of mental illness. It amazes me when I come to realize how destructive ignorance can be. I wish the people in my life had been educated at least enough to know that mental illness, like any physical illness, is not a choice. It is not a moral issue. It has absolutely nothing to do with values and integrity. Mental illness does not mean less than.

There is so much brilliance hidden in people who are disregarded because of a diagnosis. So much courage, fortitude, loyalty and love. The creativity is endless. Just like anyone else, we are leaders, followers, teachers, friends, sisters and brothers, sons and daughters. We are parents who love our children and children who love our parents. We are human beings.

What I would really like to see, is a way for people to appreciate the value of a person with a mental illness. Just like everyone else, we each have gifts to give the world. Great gifts and it seems such a waste to throw away such assets, based on ignorant assumptions. Over the past fifteen years, I have struggled to accept, understand and become compliant with my diagnosis. Bi-Polar to me is not a bad thing anymore. I know what it means in my life and those around me and I know what I have to do to manage it.

Beauty (in the odd)-

 

There’s beauty in odd numbers,
And the things that don’t conform;
The sun on a winter December,
And rain when autumn draws.

There’s beauty in resilience,
Falling nine times, rising ten;
Standing strong when all around us,
Are breaking down in pairs.

There’s beauty in acceptance,
Of the flaws that make us whole;
For the only way to right things,
Is to acknowledge first- the wrong.

There’s beauty in forgiveness,
Letting things roll off our backs;
Shunning off small talks and gossips,
For our sanity, not theirs.

There’s beauty all around us,
And within our ourselves- unique,
Different sizes, shape and colour,
Each beautiful in its own being.

Facebook page: words of a random, let’s connect! 

To my dark sister-

It does not befit-
The ancestors who went through
Ocean and lands,
Sweat and toil,
Blood and sacrifice,
To look down the pigment,
You have been endowed,
And utter the words-
I do not like it.

It does not befit,
The mother who went through,
vigorous nine months,
Housing a young you,
Within her 120 pounds,
While earning her coins,
With menial jobs,
To look down your skin,
Wishing it wasn’t yours.

It does not befit,
The creator- who fashioned you,
Body and soul;
A creation with genes,
Only you have been granted;
A beauty to stand out
Against the universe’s background,
To look down your skin,
Saying- black isn’t pretty.

It doesn’t befit
Your state of mind.
To wish you were something,
Other than what you are.

Facebook Page: words of a random. let’s connect on Facebook!

Day 8: Choices

If anything,
I want you to remember this-
Options,
Life is filled with
so many;
Left and right,
Coloured or dull,
Yes or no.
We have the options,
To make a choice-
In our decisions.

But just as the sun,
has little to say,
In the matter of rainfall.
And the moon,
regardless of it’s stance,
Night will fade to day,
There is little you can do,
when another chooses-
A different pathway.

And we can get swallowed,
In the never ending scenarios,
Of what could I have done;
Or we can rise,
With the knowledge-
Everyone makes their decision,
Good or bad…
And most times,
No matter what we do,
Say or preach-
They’d still make the same choices,
Regardless.

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Prompt: Life. This poem is response to December Poetry challenge, 31 poems in 31 days (and yes I am two days behind 🙈).

The above picture is Courtesy of Whisper.com

My top 9 Talents you won’t want!

After reading JoyRoses Monday post on top 9 talents you won’t want, I got motivated to write down mine. I mean, it’s about time we embrace wholeheartedly our quirks. So here goes:

1) I have a predisposition to breaking things including cups, plates, buckets and my latest, our glass dining table which after paying 100 dollars for repair, my brain sent a message to my body to settle down a bit.

2) I can forget like it is nobody’s business. I went to the supermarket a few days ago and when I got to the counter (with all of my goodies) and It was time to pay, I opened my purse and realized I left my money at home. It was not a funny scene.

3) My brain (yes I’m blaming it again) doesn’t interpret sarcasm. You could say a sarcastic comment to me and in all seriousness, I’ld ask you to kindly elaborate.

4) The only animal that doesn’t petrify me is probably a goldfish and that too because I don’t have to touch it. I dislocated my hip-joint while running away from a cockroach which in my defense (okay, I have no defense here!).

5) I am an embarrassingly morbid procrastinator. I would pay anyone to take this talent (if I may call it that). P.s If you have any tips on getting rid of it, I’m all ears. Tried the to-do list method, didn’t work.

6) periods! Yup, it’s been a while since it’s made an appearance on my posts. One of my biggest talent is getting my period at the most inappropriate time. Like while wearing a white skirt outside, or In the middle of lectures… The list goes on.

7) I am worrible at reading in-between the lines. Dear future husband, in case you are reading this. Don’t tell me things like- you make my heart have irregular ventricular contractions. Seriously.

8) I have a talent of catching the flu. As long as I make contact with someone who has the flu, chances are I am going to get sick too. It doesn’t help there are over 100 serotypes. Which means if I get infected and resistant to one strain, there are 99 others waiting.

9) I once drew what I thought was a beautiful replica of the Nigerian map for my geography class and I was told it looked like a yam. That’s how good my drawing is.

…..and that’s it. My top nine talents you won’t want (which may or may not indicate that there are more). Now it is your turn, what are your top nine talents that we won’t want. I would love to nominate everyone reading this to share their top 9, come on guys, let’s embrace our quirks.

Seeing through someone else’s eyes!

#MentalHealthFriday I have never re blogged but there is always a first right?! MHF took a break and would be back next week but this is post by a dear friend of mine I couldn’t skip regarding Eating disorders. As she said, Eating Disorder is a journey and it doesn’t define a person. Please give the original page a view. 🙂

Nuggets of Gold

A week ago I wrote a post on Eating Disorders, more specifically anorexia. I was writing to bring attention to something that is very real and that more people suffer from than you may think. While I don’t suffer from it myself I have walked a close path with it this year. I would like to share a poem  that touched me deeply. A poem written by person that has  personally struggled with eating disorders. I hope you can understand a little more about it as they express their feelings. Thanks for reading and once again please, if you know someone that you suspect struggling with this,  be there for them, get them help!

I have an eating disorder. It is not had or used to. It is present tense. I am Learning. It is learning to love myself. It is learning to let others love me. It is that…

View original post 181 more words

Letting go…

Let it go, they said. Like it’s just some patch on the sleeves of a shirt which would come off after a date with the detergent. But they were wrong, once again. They said we wouldn’t last, we did. They said, our meeting was a glitch in time but it wasn’t, was it? you had planed it all- the accident, the friendship, it was all a game to you. A game I fell in deeply and blindly for. A game that played me rather than the other way round. And here they are again, urging me to just let it go. But how can I? You broke my heart more than anyone could, you toyed with my soul like a kid in the zoo, but still I can’t let you go. And they wouldn’t understand… Nah, they wouldn’t get it even if their lives depended on it.

How do I explain to them that the girl who destroyed me was the same one who watched me at night bleed through my wrist but smiled and gave me a hug saying, I’ll still be with ya tomorrow.
How do I tell that the girl who betrayed my trust was the only one who visited me day after day when I was entered into the facility; that she was the one who boosted my courage and gave me the strength to face life and chase it with a different face and perception.

Yes she broke me, but she also taught me the way to build myself back up. The old me would have crumpled up after the betrayal, but the new me, she’s wading through the storms, slowly, steadily. How do I let go of someone who meant so much to me at some point in my life. I guess, life isn’t a straight line as we are taught, it’s filled with lots of curves and corners. Time heals everything they say, let’s see if they are right this time because even though the wounds are all scarred up, it still burns like it was just yesterday.

Sisterhood of the World

I got nominated again for the sisterhood of the world bloggers award by “ColdChickenSoup” and she posed some really fun and unexpected questions. Thank you so much for this nomination and I’m glad our paths have crossed even if it’s on the blogosphere- here are my answers:

1. What is that one movie that you can’t get enough of?
Ahhh, I’ve got loads of them. But if I have to choose five, it’d be- Inception, Now you see me, chak de India, Fast 5, 3 idiots.

2. Who is/are your favorite person/peeps?
My family. I know it sounds cheesy but when I’m with family, nothing else matters. And friends that become family too.

3. Beauty or brains?
If you mean which I prefer, I’d say brains. Beauty is awesome for the first few moments, but brains leave a lasting impression. So beauty fades, brains remain.

4. What are the characteristics of your ideal man?
Hahaha, I wasn’t expecting this question at all. Well let’s put it this way- if I knew my characteristics of my ideal man, trust me I wouldn’t be single, would have grabbed him by the horns.

5. What is your favorite quote and why?
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view- until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”– this is one of the quotes that help me in my day to day life. It’s a constant reminder for whenever I am tempted to judge a person.

6. What was your family like growing up?
From what i’ve been told, my family had a pretty smooth life with two “very obedient and quiet” kids until I came along. Growing up was fun. If it wasn’t, honestly, I wouldn’t know because as a kid, I remember making the most of very moment- I lived in a bubble.

7. What’s it like when you had the best date of your life?
I’m going to save this space up for when that happens.

8. If you’re a student what do you study (course)?
I’m in my 4th year studying medicine.

9. What is your favorite flower?
I am not well versed in flowery to have a favorite, but I do love roses.

10. Do you agree that love is blind? Why or why not?
I think falling in love for the first time can be what you refer to as “blind” because most times it’s all frills and butterflies, and we’re oblivious to a lot of things especially the”love’s” faults. But eventually, we begin to see clearly and that’s the make it or break it stage. So for me, I wouldn’t say “love is blind” for people who’ve been together for a couple of years.

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And now, considering I haven’t seen a “brotherhood of the world bloggers award” in circulation yet, I believe it’s about time we have one. So, I’ld love to nominate some amazing male bloggers whose blogs I believe deserve it.

 Prakash Hegade
Richard Ankers (who hosts an award free blog but I just wanted to recognize 🙂 )
Voice ur mind
Nathan Bonilla
John Foster
The horseman hits again
Idea Dibia
Fred to the rick
Roller coaster rides

Any other male blogger who would love to spread the fun

Here are the questions:
1) what is your favorite book
2) why do you blog?
3) define love according to you
4) if you had to choose one- fiction, non-fiction, poetry, which would you choose and why?
5) characteristic of your ideal woman
6) life is- a roller coaster, mountain climb, landslide, other.
7) favorite author
8) what legacy would you like to leave.

The rules for accepting this award are:
1) Thank and link back to the person who nominated you for the award.
2) List the Rules and Display the Brotherhood of the world Award logo to your post and/or blog.
3) Answer the questions set to you and then you may create your set if questions for your nominees.
4) Nominate around 1o other bloggers and let them know about the award
Have fun and no obligations whatsoever to accept, this is just to recognize wonderful bloggers and spread love with a bit of fun.

  The beautiful logo courtesy of Frederick