Writer’s Quote: Soul Unraveled

Writer’s Quote: Soul Unraveled

For this week’s Writer’s quote/poem Wednesday, I’m going to take a personal detour. We all have those people in our lives who are much more than friends and are practically family. People who waltz into our lives unexpectedly and inadvertently take up a huge space in it; well, my friend/housemate/sister recently published her first poetry collection called Soul Unraveled.

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This book is a journey through Love, heartbreak, abuse, and rising above it all. It touches on aspects of life in short free verses divided into six different chapters. The poems in this collection are raw and unfiltered especially when tackling issues such as sexual assault.

Now that I’ve talked the talk, Its time to walk that talk. Below are a few poems from “Soul Unraveled“. If you like what you read, you can pick up the book which is available in e-form and hardcopy on amazon. The link is at the bottom of the post.

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You can also catch up with the writer on Instagram  @ Soul Unraveled

Available on Amazon: SoulUnraveled: Rising from the ashes 

If there are any book reviewers who would be willing to review this book, please send me an email at mykahani@yahoo.com

 

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Mental Health Friday #21

Mental Health Friday #21

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I never thought I needed help, even during my darkest moments. To me, it was no one else’s business and I could take care of myself as I saw fit. The problem is, when you’re cutting up your body and someone finds out, it soon becomes everyone’s business.

I started feeling depressed and harming myself when I was 10 years old (I’m 22 now) and although I didn’t have any real identification for what I was feeling, I knew it wasn’t something that everyone dealt with. I kept it a secret until I got to high school but as my stress levels rose, so did the frequency of my cutting. It was both a freeing and a damning sensation but I couldn’t get enough of it. I had my reasons, depending on the day. Sometimes it was because I felt completely numb and other times I felt that I needed to be punished for some trivial matter which really wasn’t my fault at all. It was a release of all my anger, frustration, and pain. It gave me something tangible to focus on and to be involved with.

Eventually a friend that I trusted pressured me into admitting what was going on but I figured life would continue on as normal, at least my version of it, and it did… Until the day I got called into the counseling office. I knew immediately what had happened and my worst fear had been confirmed. The school knew about my cutting and called my parents. From that day on it became an even more difficult battle with my depression. My parents didn’t understand, my friends didn’t really understand, and eventually it became too much and I gave into the blackness inside my soul. That’s how I ended up in the hospital the first time.

Once I got out about a week later, it seemed that everyone in school had some sort of theory and the bullying I had previously experienced soon doubled based upon the idea that I was the “crazy” girl. My cutting got even worse, to the point where I tried hurting myself underneath the cafeteria table at lunch time. How desperate… How addicted do you have to be for that? I was in a dangerous place and soon enough, I was admitted to the hospital again for 2 weeks this time. Luckily, I had some friends who stuck by me and that’s what kept me sane and safe once I got back to school where the bullying tripled.

High school was extremely hard for me and I constantly felt as though I was at the bottom of a deep black hole that just kept slowly crumbling down around me, bringing me further and further into darkness. Once I got into college, things improved for a little but I soon stopped going to classes and couldn’t bring myself to care that I was failing. After multiple panic attacks and one really bad cut, I knew I needed to move back home andwork harder on my wellbeing. The feeling of utter hopelessness is something that cannot even be described. I was lucky to have found a therapist I adored and was put into group therapy with two leaders I absolutely loved. My parents took the time to learn more about my conditions and began to understand me more and work with me in more helpful ways.

Recovery hasn’t been easy. It took years for me to have more good days than bad, and I even managed to quit cutting for 2 and ½ years (I did mess up once a couple months ago during a horrible fight with my boyfriend but no one is perfect). It is a battle still. I won’t say that everything is peachy all the time, but I know now that things can be okay and that they can get better. I try to look at the little things because they are always there, you just need to find them. The darkness still hovers around me sometimes and I know that I may fight this for the rest of my life, but I know the good outweighs the bad, now. If I had ended my life when I tried to those times, there is so much I never would have experienced and I always remind myself of that. You can do it too. If I can and many others can make it through, then I know you can too. There is always a reason and there is always hope. You just need to find it.
With hope and love,
Clare


This week’s story was submitted by Clare of DestroyedRazors.com. She was diagnosed with Major Depression, Panic Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder while simultaneously fighting an addiction to self-harm. As her tag line says, Her blog is For fighters, survivors, addicts, loners, the hopeless, the hopeful and all those in between.

If you’d love to contribute and share your story on Mental health Friday, I’d love to have you. You can contact me on My email address: mykahani@yahoo.com. Facebook page: Words of a random. Image credit: HealthyPlace.com

Self-Love

Self-Love

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“But I love…”

Of course, we all love someone- mothers love their children, husbands love their wives, sisters love their brothers, some love their friends.

And how many of those love last when self love is not in the picture. You can love someone else true; but when you love all that is within yourself- the good, the flawed, the quirkiness; when you know what you’re worth, passing it on to someone else becomes so much more easier.

Once you accept your flaws, accepting that of others becomes a piece of cake….                 easier said than done- that, I also know.

Reach out-

Reach out-

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Reach out,
For my hands
Lay outstretched,
To welcome yours;
Through setting suns,
And rising dawns,
Through mist filled airs,
And darkness bound.

Reach out,
Old friend,
My ears are perked,
To be filled with sounds,
Of your nightmares,
My drums-
They yearn,
to welcome your sobs,
And pass the message
Through arms outstretched.

Reach out,
To the arms,
You once lifted,
When raging storms,
Depleted my joy.
Old friend,
Who lit up my world,
Once more.
My hands,
Won’t tire of being outstretched.

Reach out,
For you deserve to see,
The sun
And feel it’s light,
In your soul.

 

Together (we’re stronger)-

Together (we’re stronger)-

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Her sleeves came up,
Her wrist displayed,
She added some bracelets,
To hide the slits,

I took off mine,
With little shame,
The secrets she’s hiding,
I know the pain.

It’s been three years,
I smile with pride,
I’ll show you a new way,
To deal with life.

I hope it works,
She smiles back too,
I try to quit,
It won’t let me.

You were alone,
And now you’re not,
Together we are stronger,
And twice the force.

And when the waves,
Come crashing now,
I’ll be your anchor,
To pull you up.

Facebook page: words of a random. Let’s connect!

My words-

My words-

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It’s the only thing I have
To offer,
Guard it, safe under your
Pillow at night,
That I may know,
The demons which
Haunt me
Taunt me
Compel me
To put into words all that
I can’t handle,
Are away from the one thing
I can call my own-
Mine-
my words.

Read it,
So that I may know,
Though miles apart,
You see the pages,
Filled with lines
Of the truth and pain,
With which each letter
Is strung,
And you know,
These papers,
Aren’t just filled with words,
But a map of my journey,
Thus far on earth.

Cherish it,
Like you would the heart
Of a friend,
And remember-
Etched in the words,
Are pieces of my heart,
Which I am bestowing,
To no one else,
But- you.

Facebook page: words of a Random. Let’s connect!

Flash Fiction: Talker-much

Flash Fiction: Talker-much

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We sat by the shore, listening to the sound of waves intermingled with the occasionally far-out voices of travellers, traversing the water in their boats and canoes. It was a peaceful 20 minutes, while it lasted.

“Did you know“, Alexa piped up and I was too mannered to tell her I just wanted to enjoy the moment in silence. Darn good manners.

She went on to spend the next one hour enlightening me on who did what from amongst our friends, her friends and strangers I didn’t even know. It was all I could do to throw the occasional good word in there. They couldn’t all have been that bad.

Finally exhausted for words, she said, So, what’s been going on with you girl“.

Me,” I replied in a high pitched voice, “ohh just the usual. I’ve been fine. The Lord has been good to me!”
There was no way I was going to be the talk of her next conversation with Lord knows who.


word count: 164. This story is in response to Flash Fiction for aspiring writers photo prompt challenge, hosted by priceless Joy, where each week, we are provided a photograph and are to write a 75-175 word story in it. Thank you very much for this week’s photo @Louise of The storyteller’s abode. 

Writer’s quote: Friendship

Writer’s quote: Friendship

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Welcome to another writer’s quote/poem Wednesday, where I share some of my favourite poems written by other authors. Today’s poem talks about friendship, with lines which melt the heart, written in brief verses with sequential rhymes. Talking about friendship, WordPress here, has one of the most supportive online community.

Well, a fellow blogger did something totally unexpected two weeks ago, which touched my heart. Its fellow blogger and poet, Jade M Wong. She also does these writer’s quote Wednesday series and that week, she shared one of my poems as an inspiration. Thank you very much Jade and I felt honoured with your gesture. I have written long before this blog, so I wouldn’t say I am in need of validation with my writing, but acknowledgement brings about such a wonderful feeling.

Still on the note of friendship, a dear blogger, Colin of a dog’s life, recently released his poetry book- just thinking. He has been such a support system for me here, so I’d appreciate it if you guys could take a minute to check his blog and his book too. The funds raised from the book would go towards an amazing cause. Check out this link to find out more: Just thinkingAll that being said, (I hope I didn’t ramble too much), below is the poem:

The Arrow and the Song by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

Past the darkness-

Past the darkness-

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Your world was full of darkness,
So I handed you a rope,
To lead you down a pathway,
To the light my soul calls home.

But darkness had convinced you,
It’s warmth was all you need,
The light would add to you nothing,
But unnecessary heat.

Your world was full of darkness,
So I handed you some words,
To keep you company as,
A reminder you’re not alone.

But darkness had convinced you,
It was all the friend you need,
So you bundled up the pages,
Putting a torch to our friendship.

Your world- so full of darkness,
And it hurts you cannot see,
The wings ingrown within you,
You’ve had all you needed to flee.

If only you could- look past the darkness,
For a moment… you will see.
Until then my rope’s still hanging,
To pull you down, whenever you need.

I am much more-

I am much more-

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To all the friends
I pushed aside-
Sent every call,
To voice message .

Somedays my dark
Empowers me,
I blink, I breathe,
That’s all I can be.

To all the friends,
Who stood by me,
From dawn to dusk
And the dark in between.

When sorrow wipes
Aside my joy,
Your thoughts, remind me,
I am much more.

Much more than pain
Much more than tears
Much more than another,
Sad ending.

Because of you-
I am much more.