First of all-

First of all-

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I am not your personal poet;
Churning words at your whims,
Do you approve?
A few more here,
A little less there;
Pouring your emotions,
From the tip of my pen.

I am not your personal therapist;
Listening to your woes at your
Convenience,
A sponge to absorb your torments,
And a seal to my comments,
Because You and You is all
That should come first.

I am not your doll to be used,
Or better yet abused
At your beck and call;
My legs aren’t yours to move,
At the beat of your drum;
Right-left-forward- now back

But I do write your poems,
And I do listen to your woes,
I’ll move the ground and skies for you,
You don’t even have to ask.
I don’t do it for your status,
Your might or your “prowess”,
I do it because i’m made that way,
To give and bleed unreciprocated.

I do it because,
my heart’s wired to give,
Even if yours isn’t.

 

 

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Sigh-

Sigh-

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Every sigh,
Escaping
From the lids of our lips;
Bear a story,
A memory,
we deny the opportunity,
Of the permanence
Of words.

It floats,
Into the universe,
Uniting with its brothers-
Other sighs,
Other memories,
Escaping from other’s prisons.

Do you feel it,
When the wind brushes,
Across your face,
On a summer day;
Do you hear its whispers
At nighttime?
A message,
A reminder.

Every sigh-
Escaping,
holds within itself,
A story untold.

The above image is courtesy of Pinterest.com

I said a prayer-

I said a prayer-

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I said a prayer today,
And it went something like this-
Dear Lord,
(With my head on the ground),
Please grant me empathy.

I said a prayer today
I never thought I would say,
Not the praying part of course,
Just that prayer in particular;
For- cynicism and hatred,
Were not in my nature,
(I thought),
But then I grew up and

said a prayer today,
For the world is changing,
And the world has changed me,
And the dreamer within
Is dying-
Like the trees, the earth, the sea
And its beings.
Dear Lord grant me empathy
For cynicism is overtaking.

I said a prayer today,
For the world is bleeding
And I am bleeding with it.

Of despair & hope-

Of despair & hope-

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Depression,
is a friend to despair,
trudging along the same path;
when one comes,
so does the other.
As is said in the kid’s rhyme-
Birds of the same feathers,
They flock together.
They could have just said-
Depression and despair.

Depression,
has got an enemy in hope.
The different ends
of a magnetic pole.
When one draws to an edge,
The other pulls to another.
Depression and hope,
Do not last together.
When one stays,
the other has got to go.
(Depression has got to go)

Depression,
Brings along its friend-
Despair.
Hope is its own force,
Sufficient against them.

The above image is courtesy of Thehealthyplace.com

 

My words-

My words-

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I write for the days when the beating heart within my chest feels ripped apart. For the days when my readily accessible tears fail me (it wouldnt be the first thing to fail me).

I write for the days when my mind spins tales on purpose which perpetuate me as the villain- it is my mind but i have no control over it.

I write for the days when rejection and heartbreak; betrayal and sadness all morph into one and spring on me at once.

I write to remind myself, I am not alone. I have my words, I have my Lord. I have been failed before and I rose and wrote words.

So I write these words and save them, for the rainy day that I would need them.

A writer to another-

A writer to another-

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You have your love,
I have my darkness,

You pour your heart,
I divulge my soul,

You have your lover,
I have my black dog,

You write of the future,
I disdain my past.

You write of rainbows,
I write of dark clouds

You write in free verse,
I drown in rhymes,

You are a writer,
I write in hiding,

When you’ll write of heartbreaks,
I’ll write of hope.

You bloom under sunbeams,
I strengthen with lightning,

Our swords are the same
Just not our pattern of fighting,

When my clouds dissipates
And you, darkness visits

Here are my words,
To keep you company.

You have your love,
I have my darkness,

We both need each other,
In a world that keeps changing.

The above image is courtesy of Tumblr

You don’t remember-

You don’t remember-

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He’s just a teen,
Bound to get his back up,
At every little thing-
Don’t you remember it,

Defensive
Without an offence
Attack, eager to depict-
I’m an adult now,
alternating between
rebellion and obedience,
Don’t you remember it,

Enthralled,
By the illusion of teens
In cliques,
Conforming to their
status quo,
At the risk of all
You’ve been raised to be;
Don’t you remember it,

When all you needed,
Instead of a hand,
On your body,
Violently sweeping across,
Were words.
Simply words.

But you don’t remember it.
As your hands,
Violently,
Swipe across his body.
While the words he yearn
He needs to hear-
Silent.
You’ve forgotten,
What it means to be-
A teen.

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All I Am-

All I Am-

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They called me black,
When words were
in their possession,
Once spoken,
Was law and order,
They stated-
          I am black.

She’s a woman,
They reassured;
As if the gender,
Possessed lesser power,
They ordered-
         I am just a woman.

She’s Muslim,
And the veil on my head,
Became heavy,
The venom on their face,
Evident.
         Muslim- I was a threat.

So many labels,
One individual,
Am I black,
      A woman,
             Muslim?

The skin they pointed at
Hardened,
Impenetrable to their words,
I grew to accept,
I was all they had labelled.

Now, when I say
I am a black Muslim woman,
They say-
          I am human.
Funny,
How they seemed to forget,
When the words,
Were in their power.

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Closure-

Closure-

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One word… seven letters.
I always had this idea that to move on, to let go of the past, to put one foot in front of the other through the door called future, I had to have it- closure.

And I sought it, I chased it, I pled for it.  Each time I thought I was close to it, closure merely opened a can-worm of emotions I had no idea still existed within me, no idea how to handle them.

The search for closure led me down a path I should never have tread, a path of hurt of pain of emotions I should never have felt again. And every single time, I still kept going back, for that closure. The person In me, never learnt.

I’m only now understanding, coming to the conclusion- closure isn’t a conversation that needs to be had, it’s not a word that needs to said or unsaid, it’s not a meeting which needs to take place, one last time.

Closure, simply is putting my big girl pants on, taking that big leap of faith through the door into the future with the ideology- Life starts now. And it doesn’t matter, whatever words lie behind the door which were never said, whatever final meeting which never happened, closure doesn’t have to come from an outside source.

The only closure I need, is the closure from within myself, to be able to say done and dusted, and mean it… closure comes from me.

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