A Glimpse Of Summer: And…. I’m Stuck!

The picture above pretty much sums up how I feel. Yeah, I am finally suffering from the much dreaded writer’s block plus writer’s indecisiveness. I know I was meant to upload the next chapter of AGOS but I am stuck. I have spent the better half of today holed up with a pad in front of me trying to write down something meaningful. And I did actually, well for the first two to three  paragraphs and then…. Yup, nothing came up again. I am blank! So far, I have three separate incomplete drafts with completely different storyline continuation. I mean this is part 8, I thought it would be easier. But leave it to my brain to try convince me into writing three different story lines for this chapter. And the worst part is, each storyline has only about two to three paragraphs and then, my brain decides to shut down.

So Dear readers, I am truly sorry for not being able to fulfill my promise and deliver the next part as I had promised. All I have is an incomplete work, and you all do deserve better. Turns out writing isn’t as easy as it seems, and I guess there are good days and bad days. Today is definitely among the latter. I do apologize for the inconvenience. And I really would love to blame my head and specifically my brain for not being able to write something palatable so, you are welcome to throw your words at him (my brain is a him).

You see the image above, actually it doesn’t work. Cause I just woke up from a much needed sleep and … I’m still stuck.

I really just wanted to say I am sorry for anyone who turned up to read Summer’s story and Summer’s Homecoming. You are my motivation to keep on writing, so thank you ❤ . May the ghost of Writer’s block stay far and far away from your writings. 🙂

AGOS: Summer’s home coming

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all-“

This was the quote that greeted me on a brown rustic wooden board that stood beside Sam’s door. Stepping out of the car, I stood for a moment, inhaling the jolly sweet rusty smell of after-rain which evaporated from the sand In the mini gardens. The sky was mostly cloudless with only a few light clumps of clouds here and there, and even those were shady. The unwelcoming rays of the sun penetrated through my skin, a hot 35 degrees; I was home. It had rained the previous day, no wonder the weather was so hot.

“Need any help?” George’s voice snapped me out of my daydream.

He stood a little behind me, grinning as I turned to face him. He knew pretty well I hadn’t even started offloading yet, I was lost in thoughts.

“Hey, don’t mock the cancer girl, doc. I’m hurting enough already you know.” I replied back, gently grasping at the upper part of my blouse where I knew my heart was.

He laughed, “Oh, so you’re playing the cancer card now huh, good thing I’m immune.” We both laughed.

Dr George Sandow’s an old friend of mine. He was the one who diagnosed me with my Meningioma and helped me through the first few months of coming to terms with having a tumor growing in my brain. Ever since then, we became tight friends even with an age gap of about 12 years. I remember when I was leaving town, he told me
“This is your home Summer, and when your home comes calling, you know where to find me.”

When I called him the other day that I had decided to come back, his voice rose to a high pitch as he exclaimed,
“I’m glad you took it literally Summer.”
Perks of living in a small town, everybody knew everybody and everybody got emotionally invested in everybody’s business.

A Glimpse of Summer: Summer’s Story

My name is Summer and I am dying… It took me a long time to get a grip over this fact but now I have and it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Five years ago, I got diagnosed with Meningioma which is a brain tumor. I was only twenty six. It turned out, the severe morning headaches and visual disturbances which I had attributed to migraines, were due to a tumor in my brain. My life ended and began on the day I got diagnosed. I remember the doctor saying “there is hope”, the prognosis was good and “most” people had a good chance of survival. I kept it a secret from my two best friends- Kit and Sam. The oncologist had said I had a good chance of surviving, so I thought, why worry them. I had planned on revealing my diagnosis to them after the treatment began, but then, somewhere along the line, something changed.

A few months into treatment (which was really hard to keep a secret from my prodding best friend Kit), more tests and scans were performed to check the progress of the tumor. It wasn’t good. The treatment wasn’t working, the tumor was steadily growing bigger and basically- I was among the unlucky few.

The doctor explained to me in the most basic of terms, saying, they had to change treatment methods due to the increase in growth of the tumor. More “aggressive” tactics had to be employed which meant more and worse side-effects. He didn’t add that part, but experience taught me. Severe abdominal pain, nausea- and a whole lot of other life- inconveniencing pain.

I knew I had to tell Sam and Kit because either way, sooner or later, they would find out. Weight loss, mood swings and especially sudden vomiting weren’t things that could be easily hidden. Or even, a patch of “no hair” in the head due to biopsy- that hurt me a lot because I love my hair. And then, Sam broke the news that he and Julie were getting married and I thought it best not to disrupt their happiness and be the bringer of bad news.

But the truth was, that was just an excuse. I was scared, petrified, and in an emotional roller coaster. I had seen what cancer had done to my mother, and even though I knew I wasn’t her, thinking back to the pity state she was in, the “poor thing” look people gave her, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to be reminded every single day that I was a walking time bomb who could pass out, flare up or even leave at any moment. It is in human nature for us to feel sorry for our fellow humans when they are going through a rough patch. I get it, but at the same time, I didn’t want that.

I wanted to leave the image of a lively good old Summer, the girl who believed the world was her oyster, who loved her friends beyond the moon, who was happy despite hidden wounds. I wanted people to remember me as “the real me” and not the cancerous version of me. At times, I felt so mad that I could curse “cancer” itself, whatever it is. But it is still me. This cancer is part of me, it is formed from my cells, my genes!

A Glimpse Of Summer 5

The ride from the hospital to Sam’s place felt like forever. The image of those two beautiful babies kept coming back at me. It had begun to drizzle- the drops of rain on the taxi’s window obstructing my view of the street. I looked to Sam; the tears had subsided, but he was still silent, lost in a trance. I couldn’t blame him- he just lost his wife and with no prior experience, had two babies to take care of.

Returning my gaze, I watched as the unhindered streetwalkers went about the roads and pavements, oblivious to the rain and the dark clouds gathering above them. I said a silent prayer to Julie.
“Thank you, for those precious babies.”

Julie was as little as she was fierce. Dainty looking and most times underestimated. But in reality, she was as strong a woman as it got. She knew her chances of survival weren’t good, but still went on with it.

“Either way, sooner or later the inevitable will arrive. At least, I know I’m leaving something behind this time.”

That was her standoffish reply to my prodding her about going through with the delivery. Despite the news of her death and the gloomy atmosphere encapsulating me, the sides of my lips creased into a little smile. I was lucky to have ever met such wonderful people in my life. First Summer and then Julie.

I felt a stinging sensation in my right eye, but this time it was tears of Joy. Still, I fought hard to hold it back. I had enough to worry about with Sam, I didn’t want the taxi driver thinking he had two emotionally unstable people in his cab.

We arrived at Sam’s place. The rain had resolved into a soft drizzle. I got down from the cab and settled the Taxi driver who murmured a thank you and drove off. I walked Sam down the cobblestone pavement which led to his front door.
                                “Thank you, Kit”

That was the first word he had spoken since we began the journey back from the hospital. I remained silent.
                           “We’ll be okay.” … “Right?”

I knew he was talking about him and the babies, I nodded. Figured he needed space and time off to himself, I gave him a hug. With my hands softly grasping the sides of his face, I told him with counted words
                “Sam, if you need anything. Anything, I don’t care what time it is, just call me.”

He nodded and I let go of him. I watched him put the key and unlock the door, he drudged into the house and shut the door behind him.

Making my way to my little apartment, I couldn’t help but think back to Dahlia and Azalea. Those were the names Julie and Sam had chosen for the babies. It would take about a week for Julie’s parents to arrive from Europe. Meaning, I was going to be an unofficial mother for a week. But for some reason, the thought didn’t scare me even a little bit. In all honesty, I was looking forward to Dahlia and Azalea’s coming home.

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I just want to say thank you to everyone who has followed this story- liked, commented and encouraged me to continue. I really appreciate all the support. For the next few parts, I would really love to include your inputs and ideas into the plot- after all, this story is all because of you. 

Would you love to see Summer back in the story? What story length do you prefer? Any ideas or input you’d like to see in the story? Thank you guys for everything ❤

P.S- there’s a link to all the other parts In the comment section. Just In case this is you first time and you’re wondering who Summer is 😉

A Glimpse Of Summer 4

A few hours passed by, the bulb of the operation room went off and the surgeon In his green scrubs came out. Walking steadily towards us, one look at his face and I knew something was wrong. He’d obviously learned to mask his expression, but his posture announced the gloomy news. The sloped shoulders and counted footsteps were a sure sign for disaster. Bad news was inevitable; the question was, how bad was the news he was about to break.

Let all be well, I prayed fervently despite the negative signs in front of me. My experience, escorting Summer’s mother to the hospital during her battle with cancer, taught me a few things about doctors. Merely from their gesture while approaching a patient, you could tell if it was going to be good news or bad news. With the doctor standing in front of me, the signs were screaming “Bad.”

He began with the usual, ‘I’m sorry’… Crap
Julie had passed on and the babies were to be kept in an incubator for a few days until they stabilized. Samuel blanked out after hearing Julie’s demise, he just stared into space, said nothing, did nothing.

                  “Sam?” “Sam,“ I whispered shaking him lightly at the shoulder.

He didn’t even shrug me off, just stood there with a blank expression on his face. A nurse came and showed us to a small pediatric room. It had baby pink and sky blue colors painted on alternate walls. Drawings of Mickey, Minnie, a baby in a crib and little stars-moon were plastered on the wall. We weren’t allowed to enter. In front of us was a huge rectangular see-through window. With my left arm firmly wrapped around Sam’s shoulders, peering through the window, two babies lay in an incubator. They were wearing the pink overalls I and Julie had picked out previously.

From my vantage point, I could see they were sleeping. Hearing a sniffle above me, I looked up to see tears streaming down Sam’s eyes as he saw his baby girls.                           
                                      “It’s going to be okay,” was all I could say
I was relieved when I saw him cry because any emotion was better than no emotion.

AGOS: Life without Summer

Here’s the 3rd part to A Glimpse Of Summer (AGOS). The 1st and 2nd parts are linked. For this part I used pure narrative with minimal dialogue and descriptions. Although I apologize for the lack of descriptions, it’s been a tough week (no excuses still), so I promise to be back in full gear for the next part.

The day summer left, everything changed. The weather forecast could have been windy with a turbulent storm approaching because that was the atmosphere when the news broke out. Life was never the same for either one of us. I thought I had it bad, but seeing Sam break down when I told him- it crushed me. For a moment there, I was glad summer wasn’t around to see him in that state.

We never talked about it- I and Sam, about why Summer left. I was scared of the question and he, the answer. I think Sam knew he was the reason for Summer’s leaving. It was just too coincidental that when he got married she decided to go AWOL. In a way, I was relieved he never brought the topic up.

Each day, I awoke to check the mailbox, hoping against hope I’d see a message from Summer. Days, months passed by and all I got- nothing. With Sam, the question was the same.
“Any news from Summer”, he’d ask

“Not yet”

“Maybe tomorrow”, he’d reply reassuringly

“Maybe”, I’d answer back with a lot of doubt.

A Glimpse Of Summer 2

Here’s the second part of my fiction piece ‘a glimpse of Summer’. You can read the part 1 here. Hope you enjoy it, I tried to make sure it wasn’t too long.

The wedding day came and my God, it was perfect. Summer was a perfectionist and even though I knew that, the sight of the hall still amazed me.

Emerald green and gold curtains draped the formerly bare white walls; the floor was littered with cream and and rose flower petals. Each table had a centerpiece filled with wild roses and two scented candles on each side. But my favorite was the three tiered cake that stood on one side of the royal couple’s chair.

The bottom layer of the cake was decorated with green frizzy petals made from icing. The middle layer was plain gold and the top layer- it was emerald green with mini doves and butterflies scattered on the sides.

As both I and Summer Walked through the hall, inspecting it for the last time before the time for the I do’s arrived, she spoke. Reaffirming what she had told me previously which I brushed off.

“I’m leaving” she blurted, without as much as a glance at me. Her gaze was directed towards the floor.

It wasn’t the first time I was hearing it, but there was something in the tone of her voice when she said it; it was said with determination. I had known Summer all my life and I knew when she meant her speeches; and that time, she did.

Part 1: A Glimpse Of Summer

                     Twitter guy- that’s what she liked to call him.
Summer and Twitter guy first had contact in April through a surprising source, poetry blog. I know! They clicked over poetry. Exchange of Twitter Ids took place soon, and in a short while they were tight twitter buddies. The beauty about their relationship or rather friendship was that, right from the start- it was nothing romantic. It was, as they say, purely a poetic instinct that led them to such a budding friendship.

Summer and Samuel became such tight friends that I, as Her female best friend had to constantly remind them that I am still in the picture.
Now that you’ve heard about me, my name is Kit, I am summer’s best friend and this is my version of their story:-

Sam was a perfect gentleman though a little bit of a dreamer and summer was an all out rock star with a huge savings account; all thanks to a dead aunt. Complete opposites that surprisingly clicked. Sam meant the second best thing to Summer, well of course the first is moi!

They were each other’s rock through the roller coaster called college and the travails that came with it. Most of which were unexpected. Sam was the one who broke the news to summer that summer’s mum had stage IV cancer. Summer’s mum knew the news would break summer and so couldn’t bring herself to tell her; Sam ended up being the messenger. And together, we stuck to her through what was the worst phase of her life- summer’s mum didn’t survive long after the diagnosis.

As Sam was also an orphan, when he finally decided to get engaged to his long time girlfriend, Julie. Summer went above and beyond to make sure everything was perfect, exactly the way his mother would have wanted it to be. Another thing they had in common- Sentiments to motherhood.

Summer was a shell, hard on the outside yet fragile within. But Sam, he was one of those guys that kind of let things roll off their backs; he didn’t take minor details too seriously. And that, was his biggest mistake.

College over- sam’s wedding was drawing near and summer was, as always, doing her ultimate to make the event a blast and at the same time driving me nuts with wedding details. She was the one to stand beside Sam as his best man after a lot of persuasion from him. Summer was basically motherzilla but deep down, i knew she was breaking, one piece at a time. I didn’t know for how long she could endure.

Summer realized she was in love with Sam – I don’t know what happened, or what snapped to made her finally understand the feeling but she did. This was before the planning had taken much shape. I told her it wasn’t too late but there was something she said that made me rethink:
” have you seen the way they look at each other, even when no one’s watching”
“Would you want to be the cause for the end of such happiness”.

I knew I wouldn’t and neither would she- Selflessness was our damn.

This is the first part of a short fiction series I’m writing. I hope you like it. Comments and feedback  are highly appreciated. Stay tuned for part two 😉