At the end (of the day)

I believe in coffee
And the effect of
witnessing the majestic
Welcome of the sun.

I believe in storms
And the rush to take cover
From Nature’s anger
Or blessing,
Depending on who you ask.

I believe that the past
Harbours many mistakes
But few regrets.

I believe that to love
Is to accept wholeheartedly
The good, the yucky,
The perfections, the flaws.

I believe that trust
should be freely given,
Suspicion earned,
And once broken,
Trust’s frayed edges can
Rarely be mended.

I believe in prayers,
And a God far superior
Than anything, anyone.

I believe in freedom,
Free will, free choice.

I believe
When the blinds are pulled,
The spotlight off,
I need to be able to look
In the mirror,
And vouch for the choices
I make everyday…
I hope I can.

Writer’s Poem: The dash

One minute we are hale and hearty and the next, we are downing pills trying to make it through the night in one piece. And amidst this is “life”. Today’s writer’s poem wednesday, is a fairly popular one by Linda Ellis, she causes us to reflect upon the life we’ve lived through our journey from birth towards death.

The dash by Linda Ellis
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend,
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came her date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash,
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Linda Ellis; Copyright Inspire Kindness, LLC 1996; http://www.thedashpoem.com

Faults-

I chase the things,
I cannot have,
I want the things,
Out of my grasp….
For all my life, i’ve been this way.

I hide my truth,
Behind a smile,
I write to live,
Bleeding inside,
For all my life, i’ve been this way.

I love- beyond,
Limits and bounds,
I give my all,
Emptying out,
For all my life, i’ve been this way.

For all my life,
I’ve lived not thrived,
Watered my loves,
And wilted out,
I was this way, for all my life
It’s time to change, for the life I can have…

The above image is courtesy of Abbide.com

Writer’s Quote: Hunter S. Thompson

The wind is in constant motion, carrying along with it clouds gathering moisture; the leaves of the trees dance wildly then slowly, increasing in volume and decreasing, constantly changing from green to brown and everything in between; the ocean’s waves rises and crashes moving towards the shore with varying intensity; seasons change from winter to spring to summer to autumn and once in every four years an extra day appear. All around us is in constant motion and there we are, feeling stuck.

The truth is, if we can dissect our lives, minute by minute and reflect on every passing moment, we will come to the conclusion- life is constantly changing; we are constantly changing. But then again, we are our own worst critic. We beat ourselves up for things beyond our control. We beat ourselves up despite trying our best.
I have come to the conclusion now, if just one minute aspect of my life has changed In a positive way, then it’s not just for nothing.

I’d like to believe we all have dreams and goals which we aspire towards no matter our ages, some of grandeur while some simplistic; some aim to write everyday and improve while others aim to publish a worthy book; some have deadlines and some don’t; here’s to wading away the feeling of being stuck, here’s to writing our way through constantly changing momentum, and here’s to achieving our goals while still living In the present. Here and now, is all we have.
                     This random turned a year older today, hence the reflection 🙊
To end this with a quote by Hunter S. Thompson:

This post is in response to Writer’s Quote Wednesday hosted by Silver Threading.

Pretty-

All that you are,
Isn’t reflected in the mirror;
And the face looking back,
Is but a twinkle of a star;
The scales that you mount,
They measure lipos and calories;
But the worth of your heart,
Can’t be measured and priced.

When your clavicle pokes up,
Passers-by call you pretty;
So you run extra kilometers,
Spending hours in the gymnasium;
You eat at the brink of starvation,
Feeling dizzy and lightheaded;
But my God, you think it is worth it
Passers-by would call you pretty.

All that you are girl,
Can’t be reflected in the mirror;
It shows you face worth,
Not the reality your soul captures;
And the words passersby throw,
Is but a drop in the ocean;
So you say it ain’t so,
I’m always pretty regardless

The above image is courtesy of Visualize.com

On reflections…

I’ve loved and I’ve lost,
I’ve been hurt and I’ve hurt;
Tears have marked their place
On my sheet,
Nights have worsened the pains
I feel;
And through the process-
Of love and healing,
Of hurt and seeking,
Revenge or redemption,
A part of me
Has stayed, static.
The part that knows-
I’ve learned through ills,
And grown from pieces.

Behind a mask-

She was…
The mirror
Of self destruction;
An epitome of imperfection;
To him… She was-
A rainbow
In a stormy weather;
An oasis
In a desert.

To her… He was-
The world
On carefree shoulders;
A reminder
Of all she wasn’t.
He was…
A time bomb
Hiding in plain view;
Tormented
Masked and caped up.

She grew…
She Learnt-
To embrace her
broken pieces;
And tear up
To show emotions;
She lived.
He grew…
Still hiding
From his reflection;
Pretending
He was all but broken;
He didn’t….

Flash Fiction: Blackouts 5

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, after a much needed shower, Allison decided to take a whole new perspective to things.

There was no doubt, someone was trying to break her. The ulterior motive behind it, she had no idea. What she did know was- she wasn’t going to give them that satisfaction, if she’s going down, she was going down fighting. “Though I don’t plan on going down”, Allison thought aloud.

Number one on her list of suspect was the coward David, her ex-husband, though Richard Blake wasn’t far behind. She knew far too much than to trust her father, “with Richard, you just never know”, she recalled an old conversation with her mother.

A door creak brought Allison back to reality. Startled, she grabbed the nearest vase and tiptoed towards the door. At that moment, a clownish face poked through which made her jump and the vase in her hand fell to the ground.
        “Hey, it’s only me”…
“Darnit Richard! I was aiming for your head”, Allison retorted.

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Word count: 173. I stayed within range this time and this is my submission to this week’s Flash Fiction For Aspiring Writers photo prompt challenge. Imagine my surprise when I saw a clown as this week’s prompt and had to find a way to fit it into blackouts :D.

Heres: blackout 1, blackout 2, blackout 3, Blackout 4.

The Blur-

She sees a blur in the mirror-
An image imprecise;
A star fading in the distance;
A girl losing to life.

Not a glimmer in her iris,
Despair now flooding in;
Her frayed heart making noises-
Only the lonely, could decrypt.

And these were the effect of words;
Missiled at her by the world;
Bit by bit they tore her soul;
Blurring out, the star she was.

But to every curse- is a potion,
And that of blur, is love
A word of kindness spoken-
Such effect it has on the stars-
It unravels the blur all around.

Resolution, Reflection

Looking back on the past few years now, I’ve come to the realization that with each year for me, it’s a downward spiral and sometimes with a corkscrew pattern except for 2014. That was a roller coaster, it sunk deep but in the end rose high. The year 2012 was bad, 2013 was worse and 2014 well, it was hopelessly awesome. The first half I was hopeless and the other half has been an incredible journey, so yeah, it was hopelessly awesome.

My resolution track record has not been good. Last year, I quit the gym by the end of February 😀 . Two months is something right. In 2013, the book I was meant to finish writing was left dead midway with the death of my hard drive. I learnt one thing though, always keep an extra copy or file. When it comes to saving written works, don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

I rung the new year alone in my apartment, gazing from the balcony at the beautiful fireworks blazing. Perks of living on the top floor is you get to have a great view. Here in Sudan, it is a double celebration because January 1st also marks their Independence Day. I have never been able to stick to a certain task or thing, I am single so go figure (just kidding) . But really, I never stick to things so making a resolution is not going to work for me. Still, I decided to make a List:

1) Go to the gym at least three times a week.
2) Stop getting on my sister’s nerves.
3) Quit procrastination.
4) Trade my Enid Blyton books for adult novels.
5) write In my journal everyday.

And these are the resolutions that I know are NOT going to work. I hate the gym, I feel it’s my job to disturb my sister; quitting procrastination ehh, I’m not there yet, maybe reducing it; I get tired of writing and as for Enid Blyton, maybe next year.

With or without resolution, the past months I have learnt:

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Thanks to Eclectic Corner for hosting this