Mental Health Friday #8

Mental Health Friday #8

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I am diagnosed (at the moment) with rapid cycling bi polar type 2, extreme anxiety, agrophabia, fear of crowds, but that stems from the anxiety.

I feel I was lucky that I had been in my relationship for a while, before I got diagnosed, because for my partner he was suddenly dealing with a different person. Rather than the out-going, always smiling, high flyer, he had known for the previous two and half years, instead, he was dealing with a 6 month pregnant lady, who would cry at the drop of a hat, refused to leave the flat and couldn’t give a flying fig about her job

Due to the fact that I was pregnant, it was easy enough to get me to the doctors and luckily, I wasn’t that far gone and was still able to see something wasn’t right. At that point I was blaming the hormones triggering something, but the fact is I have always been a little bit quirky, shall we say, and thankfully my partner who had known me for nearly 20 years, knew it too.

The doctor sent me for CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy) and by the time my son was born, I was not only very stable but with the support of my partner, had started up my own little business and we moved into a house with a garden.

Things were fine until nearly 2 years later when I had a miscarriage and plummeted downhill. Thankfully, because my partner and I had communicated so well, he was fine in looking after both myself and my son but it put a massive strain on our relationship, of which we are still recovering nearly 18 months later. But I am getting more stable, we have a three year old who is happy, loud but happy and myself and my partner are communicating and getting things back to where they should be.

So yes I was lucky, but what about the single people living with mental illness? The problem with mental health that I have found is, sometimes, it gets competitive and more importantly, if you date someone with mental health problems, it can be detrimental to your own mental health. Its not one of those diseases which is easy to come together with other people, I am not saying it doesn’t happen of course it does, but you do have to be careful.

This however is where the stigma comes in. As someone who is dating, when is the right time to mention that you have depression, where the person you are dating doesn’t look at you as though you are a homeless person that is about to throw poo at a window. From my single friends, one of the things they are wary of, is if they are upfront about it, prospective partners may prey on their vulnerability

I think we are now starting to break through the stigma, so many people have either been affected themselves or know someone that has.

I know I had a supportive partner, but we have had to learn to know each other again. In the space of two years, I came to terms with my mental health and had a baby two really big things which are going to change a person. My partner had a baby and a crazy person as a partner, which is going to change him. But it is possible with communication and determination to have a happy family and to keep the love despite mental illness.

     submitted by Katrina who blogs at itsgoodtobecrazysometimes.com where she talks about life as she knows it being a British citizen, having mental illness and being a mother at the same time.


If you’ve a got a story that needs to be told, I would love to hear it. You can contact me at my email: mykahani@yahoo.com Looking forward to hearing from you.

IMAGE CREDIT:Healthy place.com

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23 thoughts on “Mental Health Friday #8

  1. Katrina raised an important point about dating someone with mental illness, to be important it is scary. Not everyone can deal with someone at that level. Truth be told, I cannot deal with myself sometimes, lest alone someone who needs treatment. I not saying that person should not date but the other person should know.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. When I was speaking to one of my single friends regarding this, she made the point of when do you reveal that part of yourself to the person you are dating, the first date, the fifth. Some people might not say at all due to the stigma, it is a very scary place to be.

      Thank you for commenting

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  2. Some important issues raised here. Having such a supportive partner is very fortunate, and I can see that the unexpected onset of this type of illness would be a testing time for both of you. As you say, it was a case of getting to know each other again. I can only hope you continue to work through things together.
    Regarding issues of single, depressed people and dating … I suppose there are arguments for revealing the illness both sooner and later, depending on the personalities involved. I know there is no easy answer to the question. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. As a single person with Asperger’s, I completely agree that there is a very scary possibility a person can take advantage of your mental state when they are dating you, especially if you confide in them and then you break up. I think it’s very important to get to know someone before you ever let them in, to protect yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I also dated someone who had mental health illness. I was actually going through a phase where I was ok. It turned very sour and to be honest I realise now that he had a series of problems but was unwilling or simply couldn’t try to sort them out. It ended badly having taken 2 years to get him to leave my house, as he basically blackmailed me and told me how he was going to throw himself in front of a bus etc etc. A few years later, I stupidly (thinking he was back in work) let him rent that same house as I was living elsewhere. After two months he stopped paying rent, again trying every trick in the book to make me feel sorry for him and finally after one year I was able to get him out. It cost me about £5000.00 and I feel so bloody tricked and cheated and then, the next minute I feel that I should feel sorry for him. He used his daughter to make me feel guilty. I’m so angry with myself. Sorry for the rant and whinge. I don’t know what the answer is … K

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  5. The question of when is the right time is a really hard one, because I still don’t have the answer. It’s a lot to handle with anyone when you’re starting to get to know them. My ex-boyfriend had bipolar 2 and I didn’t find out until he had a hypomanic episode within the second month and I remember it took to a surprise and it didn’t kind of raise the instinctual thought, “Oh, I don’t want to deal with this.” I mean, I didn’t break up with him because I knew I had my own issues so it felt unfair and also like he might understand some of it, but it was more difficult because he didn’t try to deal with it and it’s hard to be with someone who you want to help but they don’t want to help themselves.

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  6. Katrina, thank you so much for sharing your story. Been diagnosed with anxiety & mild depression for almost two years now and all I did was avoiding and pushing everyone away when actually i kind of needed their help/presence in my life. Well, thnks again for sharing ur story. 😊

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  7. I too suffer from god only knows what – that is, what is NOT on the list of ‘diagnoses’. I’m 71. Psychology is ‘my thing’! Was my profession as a Lecturer in Education. But from a VERY early age I learnt how to hide everything ‘abnormal’ about myself, and over a lifetime I have never been officially diagnosed with anything though I can do that for myself of course. I know all the horror and pain of phobias, panic attacks, unrelenting anxiety and so on. But somehow, though my behaviour is extremely strange at times, I’ve managed to camoflague it or simply isolate myself so that no one can see it or hide amongst other crazies e.g drunk people and so on.
    So I’ve joined this site to blog on about what I’ve learnt and perhaps it might make sense to someone. All of the above makes sense to me. I get you. Been there and it still goes on, but not so bad. Take heart.

    Like

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