All or nothing-

All or nothing-

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I don’t want to be the reason for your living,
to be the oxygen required,
For your every breath,
I don’t want to be your all or nothing.
I am a compilation of cracks,
barely staying glued together.

I want to go to bed knowing,
my breaking-
is not your breaking,
My ruination,
Is not your ruining,
When I doom one life,
I haven’t doomed two.
I can’t bear, that responsibility
On me.

If for some reason,
I do not make it,
I need to know,
That you will;
You will push through,
Even without me…

I can’t be the reason
For your living,
I am only human,
flawed… fickle.

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Writer’s quote: Maya Angelou

Writer’s quote: Maya Angelou

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I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled christmas lights.
I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they are gone from your life.
I’ve learned making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life”.
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
I’ve learned that everyday you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

The late Maya Angelou’s words are an inspiration and as writers, we are always on the lookout for inspiration. Life is a process of living and learning. Everyday, we see things, and sometimes we don’t realize the extent to which they impact us. We grow and learn from those things. And if we’re lucky enough, we get to write about them too.

Whenever the dreaded writers block creeps in, and my brain becomes a blank space, I look to personal experiences. I dig into an emotion, how it felt at a certain time, how an experience impacted me, and more often than not, the ink flows. In a way, it is like killing two birds of with one stone because on one hand, I have a piece completed and on the other hand, I get the opportunity of looking at those experiences through a new lens- through thought out words and not the irrational intensity of the emotion. As Maya Angelou said, we’ve learned and we still have a lot to learn. Here’s to learning and writing about them and learning some more.

This post is In response to Writer’s quote Wednesday. If you’d like to participate, just click on the highlighted link. IMAGE CREDIT: Counselling.org

Twitter: @WordsOfARandom

Dreams and Maybes’…

Dreams and Maybes’…

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You are the best thing that ‘s ever been mine

Maybe someday I’ll get to send this to someone and mean every word of it. Someone who’ll appreciate and reciprocate a similar feeling. But if it doesn’t happen, then that’s okay. Life wasn’t meant to be a fairy tale in the first place. We gain some, we lose some. Sometimes, dreams do become a reality, other times, they remain what they are- an illusion, fantasy.

Maybe someday, he’ll come, sweep me off my feet, maybe he won’t. Maybe he’ll be everything I have ever dreamt of, maybe he won’t be. And maybe, just maybe, there wouldn’t be a he. Maybe it’s just going to be me. Living and thriving on my own, dusting my cold cellars and being my Prince Charming, at the same time, my Cinderella. And at the bottom of it, maybe there won’t even be a me anymore- that’s also a possibility.

In any case, I aim to spend the rest of this unknown possibility being the best version of me, dreaming my dreams and hoping for victory because in the end, a life well lived is equivalent to all the dreams achieved and to those dreams that lay beyond in the oblivion, like, having a Prince Charming, having the best thing that’s ever been mine, to them I say-

I’m glad I lived a life positive enough to have such dreams and if someday, the sun rises and there isn’t a “me”, I hope that someone, somewhere will read these words and go- “darn, she lived the best of her life” and if not, then I can dream that too. That’s the best thing about dreams, anything is a possibility in that realm.

This is me saying, go on dreaming, go on living and know that you are perfect enough to handle being both your Prince Charming and your Cinderella. It is an amazing feeling to say to someone “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine” but what’s more amazing if being able to say it with conviction to the person we see when we look in the mirror.

IMAGE CREDIT: saying images.com

She Lives on Forever-

She Lives on Forever-

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She is not a writer,
Or trying to inspire;
In fact if you ask her-
She is in need of inspiration.
But they judge from her writing,
And they think that she’s broken;
And the words filled on paper-
Are of a heart that’s been bleeding.
And she grins at their gossip,
When she hears them in whispers;
Writing is not a weakness,
It’s a strength conferred to her-
By laws beyond understanding,
Of those who dwell In ignorance.
So They keep to their gossip,
Being stuck in the same spiral;
But she does keep on writing,
Traversing writing boundaries;
And her name makes the papers,
And she lives on for centuries;
While the bones have been decayed-
Of both her and the gossipers;
that’s the strength of her writing,
That she lives on forever.

She Was; She is-

She Was; She is-

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She was a dreamer, a screamer;
A liver, a lover;
Naive in a bubble;
Steam off a cooker-
She was a smart ass, a talker;
A singer, a fighter;    
A cryer, dramatic;
Rude and annoying-
She was a little girl with siblings;
In trouble, too often;
Funny and loving;
Through childhood, always running.

She was a dreamer, with less voice;
A liver, not loving;
Innocence now fading;
An ice she’s becoming-
She was a smart ass, deluded
With dreams, lightly rooted;
Religion, a burden;
A flower, not blooming.

She is a dreamer, a liver;
On water, a surfer;
Surviving the high waves;
Atop all the rocking-
She is a smart ass, a talker;
A fighter, with calm words;
Religion, her solace;
A flower, now blooming;
A little girl, who’s made it.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly writing challenge: “Ice, Water, Steam.”

AGOS: Summer’s home coming

AGOS: Summer’s home coming

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all-“

This was the quote that greeted me on a brown rustic wooden board that stood beside Sam’s door. Stepping out of the car, I stood for a moment, inhaling the jolly sweet rusty smell of after-rain which evaporated from the sand In the mini gardens. The sky was mostly cloudless with only a few light clumps of clouds here and there, and even those were shady. The unwelcoming rays of the sun penetrated through my skin, a hot 35 degrees; I was home. It had rained the previous day, no wonder the weather was so hot.

“Need any help?” George’s voice snapped me out of my daydream.

He stood a little behind me, grinning as I turned to face him. He knew pretty well I hadn’t even started offloading yet, I was lost in thoughts.

“Hey, don’t mock the cancer girl, doc. I’m hurting enough already you know.” I replied back, gently grasping at the upper part of my blouse where I knew my heart was.

He laughed, “Oh, so you’re playing the cancer card now huh, good thing I’m immune.” We both laughed.

Dr George Sandow’s an old friend of mine. He was the one who diagnosed me with my Meningioma and helped me through the first few months of coming to terms with having a tumor growing in my brain. Ever since then, we became tight friends even with an age gap of about 12 years. I remember when I was leaving town, he told me
“This is your home Summer, and when your home comes calling, you know where to find me.”

When I called him the other day that I had decided to come back, his voice rose to a high pitch as he exclaimed,
“I’m glad you took it literally Summer.”
Perks of living in a small town, everybody knew everybody and everybody got emotionally invested in everybody’s business.

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