Day 5: All or Nothing

Day 5: All or Nothing

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I left the door wide open,
Awaiting your arrival,
You placed one foot
In the doorway,
And left the other
At a distant.

I left the door wide open,
You stayed stuck
In the middle;
I pressed pause on my
Future for you;
But you took too long
Deciding.

I left my door wide open,
On the hope,
You will walk through it;
But you took not one step further
Coming in,
Or moving out.

Now my door is locked with reason;
You can come in
Or you can stay out;
My doorway isn’t open for you,
To stick a foot in,
And the other out.

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I really enjoyed doing the december poetry challenge last year. Plus, I found this really inspiring prompt called “30 layers, 30 days” which many bloggers have completed now. So, I decided to use the prompts for December.

Prompt: A cracked door 

I am so sorry, its been a busy 2 days. Will get to the commens and posts and emails as soon as I can.

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Day 5: Over Too Soon

Day 5: Over Too Soon

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You watched me grow from a 21 year old kid to a twenty six year old adult. Held my hand, stood beside, while I crashed and rose and crashed some more because, I never learnt the first time.

You braved it out despite knowing, you were not my choice. You were solely the outcome of a daughter abiding to a mother’s choice.

You stood beside me when the people I thought were my world looked at me, solely as a label. Your caramel eyes peering into mine as you declare, “You are perfect”. A mantra you’d whisper, no matter how often I needed to hear it.

You’d tell me up when I needed it most. And it hurt, and I sulked, but each time I’d secretly acknowledge you were right… secretly.

I didn’t tell you. I could but I didn’t. You didn’t get to hear me say “you were right”. You didn’t get to hear me say- I love you.
And just as we were, we are no more. It’s just me- my sorrow, my burden, my grief, my guilt and my words which I whisper to the winds hoping the carry them to the ground you lay.
I love you…. I’m sorry.


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I really enjoyed doing the december poetry challenge last year. Plus, I found this really inspiring prompt called “30 layers, 30 days” which many bloggers have completed now. So, I decided to use the prompts for December.

Prompts: Day 4 (The right person), Day 5 (Over too soon).

Hurting, Healing-

Hurting, Healing-

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It hurts…
But here’s the thing, I know I will get over it, just as you got over us. Slowly, then all at once. And when she asks, “why did daddy leave”. 
I’d say, “I don’t know baby, but he did”. And I will say it with conviction and without bitterness.

But today, I have no conviction and I am bitter, staring at the paper you had placed on our desk with the 7 letter words, words I never I thought I would see in our context.

And so, as she asks “where is daddy”, all I can do is hug her as tight as our bodies will allow, waiting for the day the anger, the hurt, the rejection dissipates. 

Facebook Page: words of a random.

Moving-

Moving-

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Geography lecture taught me,
That the earth does not standstill;
changing in such minute degrees,
Our naked eyes cannot see.

It makes me think and wonder,
Maybe thats why humans leave,
If the world itself keeps moving,
Whats to keep a man with feet.

Did he hear the voice of the universe
Calling, when he packed his things?
Did a silent message pass from the stars,
When he deigned- we meant nothing?

I guess- even the advanced sciences,
Have their own limits;
For no one’s yet to prove to me,
Why some just up and leave.

Facebook page: words of a random. 

Endings-

Endings-

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My breaking was my becoming,
But i didnt know it then;
Built an ocean from my tears
Watched its waves rise up and crash,

I Stood at the shore and wandered
Of the nothings i have left,
While the ocean i had built up,
Watched me break torrentially.

I thought that I had nothing
But here’s an ocean calling me,
I could sail to all the everythings,
I’ve always wanted to see.

But the thing I learnt of sorrow
Is It never lets you see,
That endings aren’t doors closing,
Sometimes endings are the keys.

 

Writer’s quote: Dorothy Parker

Writer’s quote: Dorothy Parker

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Hello and welcome to another writer’s Quote Wednesday where I share poems and quotes from some of my favourite poets. Today’s choice poet is Dorothy Parker and I am sharing the first poem of hers, I ever came across. It is titled “a very short song” and I can tell you, it lives up to its title. This poem also goes to show that poetry comes in different length and form.

Most of the poems I share on here are long, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a good short poem. I actually have a few favourites. But coming to today’s poem, it talks about heartbreak in its few lines- both ends of the rope. The character describes how it feels to break a heart and how it feels to be heartbroken and which, she believes is worse.

She writes the poems without much bitterness but rather with a realism and wit which reminds me of billy Collins’s poem- litany, I have no idea why. Here is the poem below and I hope you enjoy it. And thank you for taking part in last week’s question, it was interesting to read your take on what poetry means.

A very short song by Dorothy Parker

Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.

I’ve used the above poem one too many a time as my whatsapp profile picture (don’t ask me why), so i’ld love to hear, do you have any other heartbreak poem. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. Looking forward to getting to know a few more poems from you guys.

Confession-

Confession-

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Because,
telling you would mean, awaking most days with the knowledge,
The knowledge- you know that I want(ed) it to be you, although you are not mine to have;

Because,
telling you would mean, having to mask my emotions with an exaggerated display of happiness, when I sight your arms interlocked with hers.

Because,
telling you, would mean living with the knowledge that I almost destroyed another woman’s life… almost.

Because,
Telling you wouldn’t make any difference. The ring is hers, the wedding is upon, and all I have got is the dignity to hold my head up and utter through gritted teeth, how happy I am for you and expect you to believe it.

Because,
Telling you- would mean accepting the truth, you wouldn’t fight for me, us. You’ve always been an avoider of conflict and saying it won’t change that.

And because,
You might say, you wish it was me…. and I could handle me being unhappy but I couldn’t bear it If it was you. So I delude myself, as you delude yourself, and pretend we were never meant to be…

Day 5: The blues-

Day 5: The blues-

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The blues-
Is the term we use when,
Trying, to downplay an emotion.
When the flashback of a memory,
Opens a door, we’ve kept locked up
for Far too long.

When tears descend our cheeks in silence,
And the words which come so readily In writing-
Escape us.

When loneliness is inviting, like say-
After a heartbreak;
And we know, we deserve better,
Everybody knows we deserve better,
But still-
It doesn’t put a damp on the heart that’s hurting.

When pain is magnifying,
And words cant describe it;
And people notice our faces,
Stained in all the right places,
We answer-
Just feeling a little blue today.

But, the truth is-
A little blue- is never- just- little.


Today’s prompt is Blue. This poem is in response to DecemberPoetryChallenge. 31 poems in 31 days. The above image is courtesy of Bulgariasega.com

If love was enough-

If love was enough-

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I believe the worst part of it all is wishing love in itself was enough, but knowing it’s not. Knowing, the same the way I know, even though the sun rises each day, it doesn’t mean it’s rays will illuminate the dark within; knowing although the storm doesn’t last forever, it is no guarantee that the destruction the storm leaves wouldn’t . In the same way, I know with certainty and clarity, without any reservations or second thoughts, that I love with you everything I’ve got, with everything I have to offer and more- but It still, would not be enough….

The above image is courtesy of Favim.com

3 years-

3 years-

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The fault was never yours in the first place. You never asked me to fall, yet I did. You never promised me a large floating bouncing ball which would break my fall, I just always hoped your love would. I was wrong. But don’t worry, it’s not your fault. Maybe, I miscalculated, misinterpreted.

I never knew how strong I was till it was time to set the clock of our love, my love, to a stop. I thought my world would come crashing when I saw the word “baby”, referring to someone who isnt… Me. Well, my world spiraled a bit but it’s still as strong as ever. I spent 3 years on you, not any more. I spent 3 years on the fictional world I created of us, don’t ask if I regret It.

No, I’m not broken, Just a bit down at the moment. I know I deserve better and we were never right from the start. But I thought, it wouldn’t matter…
Anyway, it’s time… it’s time to put three years worth of practice, to show that love to the one who deserves it first of all- the face I see staring back from the mirror.