“But I love you,” he said.
And I wondered where he got the notion that saying the words “I love you” was akin to an eraser which wipes off a slate of past mistakes; a chant which hypnotises one into prompt obedience regardless of the absurdity of the orders; a piece of blindfold over a woman’s eyes to block off the reality of events.
Or maybe, he just assumed I am like the other woman who had come and gone. A blooming soul withered by a facade of love, fed on sugar coated words which tasted like nothing- nothing- a compilation of meaningless gestures- suffocating.
And maybe (cause I can only assume as mama always said speak for yourself alone) he was fed on the notion that love is blind, love is an eraser and love hypnotises in the hands of a man.
But honey, Living has taught me, you can scream I love you until the oxygen carrying capacity of your lungs deplete, without sincerity in action, it don’t mean nothing. Call me cynical, but living otherwise would have me ending up just like the other woman. A washed-up replica of a once upon a time star.
Some women hold stories,
Close to their bosom;
Stories so grave,
It could cause a ripple effect,
And upturn the balance of life,
My mother- was one such.
She’d sigh at length and go off,
Oblivious to three munchkins,
laying on the ground,
The healthiest lung.
She’d go off sometimes,
At the sight-
Of a man in a red shirt,
Or a yell across the street,
Or something so little as,
An innocent question put forward,
By a kid.
My father would say-
Just let her be.
And so I grew older-
Mastered in the art of
Till my curiosity,
got the better of me;
And I questioned-
Why does she do that?
That summer morning,
I learnt of the horrors,
Of a young black girl,
Growing up with little to nothing,
At the edge of the sea;
Where being a dark skin,
had a price and being a female-
And I knew why, she held those stories
Close to her bosom.
Prompts: Day 9 (a story), Day 10 (Summer). This poem is in response to December Poetry Challenge. 31 poems in 31 days.
the above picture is courtesy of Legend.az
“Sometimes in life you are put in a test, not because you are giving up, but to realize your worthiness”
Someone typed the above quote into my search terms a while ago and I felt an obligation to write on it. Dear whoever searched for this, I don’t know who you are or why you are searching for quotes on this, I don’t even know if you are a real individual or just one of these cyber trolls, I don’t know if you’re searching for a consolation or just a reminder; but I am glad you typed this in and gave me something to sleep and write on.
Hell and back was a statement,
She once heard in a song,
And she wondered how a human,
Could survive that chaos;
But, he did, as he wrote,
In lyrics, word by word;
And she admired such bravery,
To go through hell and back in one.
She was ripe with innocence,
Seeing life through colored lens;
Deemed a frail little Barbie,
And she molded to its form;
That was until life took charge,
Throwing lessons non stop;
Till she thought death was better,
Cause living couldn’t be that tough .
At the brink of despair she found,
The strength within to hold.
And discovered, even barbies,
Have their bone made of tough stuff;
Now when she hears “hell and back”,
Her lips curve upward,
In remembrance of a girl who trudged,
Through hell and was back stronger.
I wrote the above poem a while ago and thought it befitting to share on Writer’s Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge.
Yesterday, I posted a poem about “truth being a bitter pill to swallow” which was inspired by an event that occurred with my sister. I rarely share the inspiration behind my posts, but this time, I want to make an exception.
My sister and I were conversing and she pointed out a certain flaw I struggle with; of course being me, I got defensive. It wasn’t until later on that I realized what she was trying to say. She wasn’t condemning me, merely stating a fact.
Now, this certain flaw is something once I became aware of, I try my best and go out of my way to overcome it.
I am not where I want to be in regards to it, but those who matter in my life know, I have come a long way from where I was. They know I try and If I was a zero few years back, I am a 6 now. Which even though is not a 10, it’s certainly better than being stuck at that zero.
We all have things we struggle with and traits we’d like to change, but the truth is- knowing our flaws and overcoming them are two different things. It’s not enough to say “okay I know that”, we’ve got to try to change it. Now I realize, there is no need to get hot headed over certain things. Change is a gradual process which doesn’t happen overnight. The fact that we are trying makes all the difference and those who matter in our lives know it.
This reminds me of a quote by Actor Hugh Laurie whom a lot you may know was the Genius sarcastic Doctor we can’t help but love- Dr Gregory House. He said,
-Time changes everything. That’s what people say, it’s not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they are.
Just thought I’d share an event which inspired me this week for Writer’s Quote Wednesday.