My third year being single. Slowly, it’s beginning to hit me. I thought I had found the one when I met him, I was wrong- again! And now, I honestly don’t think the one exists for me. It’s not that I have been heart broken too many a times- trust me I’ve been too careful for that. But maybe that’s the problem, I was too careful. Anyway, I haven’t even remotely met anyone close to that. And I want to be happy, feel happy when I see people in love. Even if they are wrong for each other or what they are doing is wrong. But it’s getting hard, because it reminds me yet again that I’m alone.
But, well… How does it happen? How do you meet the one? This is something I ponder about. Really, how does it happen? I try to not think about it, but the thought keeps coming at me. And also,
I used to think I was just perfect. And then I thought maybe a few kilos lost wouldn’t hurt. And then it became more than a few kilos. And now, I’m wondering, maybe a few kilos gained back wouldn’t hurt. Life is complicated and the sorry and sad part is, we make it the way it is. Life’s what you make it- and if it’s complicated, I take full responsibility. It is my job to make life work. To make it work for me. To twist and turn things around until I am happy. To push forth, to stand strong, to make sure I leave no stone unturned and this heart of mine is happy. It is my job to make me happy. A job I believe I am failing to do.
Maybe it’s about time, heck, it is about time! I owe it to myself to choose to be happy. And, right now, this moment, I choose. I choose to be happy. It’s my choice to make and I have made it. Nobody said it would be easy anyway, I just have to make it work for me. And well, with happiness everything comes easy.
I choose to get off this tab In a few minutes, soak in the sweet after smell of rain that is blowing through this car window. Relax and absorb the atmosphere for a little while. Go home, pray and be happy. Yeah, I choose to be happy! I’ve made my choice and I will stand by it and see it through.