Staying Strong and Battling On

Staying Strong and Battling On

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      Every day is a battle, everyday is a struggle, but that’s what life is really. Pushing beyond the bumps and the hounds towards that ‘Forever after’ that we hope exists. Every single individual has his battle- Some are greater than others, while some are less; some are outward, while some are within. We fight some together, others we do alone. But to go through it with a smile takes great strength and courage. The moment, you can look into the mirror and say,
“I’m not fine, but I will be; this is a battle and I will win”,
Then you are one step closer to that  ‘real happiness’.

Most people who’ve gone through depression know what it’s like- all the pancake and concealer to cover up the never ending dark circles due to too little sleep and the never ceasing tears that happen to pour out for reasons unknown. It is frustrating to not have an explanation for why you feel a certain way, or even for the tears. The mind is racing a million to one, you just cant get a grip.

I’m supposed to say that it’s going to be fine, but it’s not. It does get worse, a whole lot worse. You forget what it feels like to be happy, you let yourself go cause you just don’t care anymore. The walls are closing in and you’re your biggest enemy.

But here is the awesomeness of this world, you don’t have to go through it alone. I know, easier said, but really- there are 7 billion people in this world (approximately) and I tell You that someone, somewhere knows exactly what you are going through; someone is willing to listen, someone has got it worse than you (it’s true).

So, the next time the blues are beginning to kick in, just pick up the phone and send an SOS – “I’m NOT FINE”; that’s all you need. I bet the ones closest to you sense something is wrong and maybe they’re just waiting for you to ask for their help and they’ll literally come running. If you don’t want to call, write it on a note pad or a sticky note and place it somewhere they are sure to find it.

And that’s the second step, ‘accepting we need help’; the first of course is denial. Now, I’m at liberty to say it will get better because you have accepted that you’re not fine but you”ll be. I know how hard it is to admit, but only the strongest admit their weakness cause they know it won’t break them. In the meantime, stay strong and have a wonderful weekend
Sticks & Stones

Dignified response to a Disgraceful gossip

Dignified response to a Disgraceful gossip

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I have a dislike to gossip. Does that mean I hate gossips? Of course not. We have all sadly fallen into the traps of gossiping. I get it, something’s are so good when you hear them that you just can’t swallow it alone, it has to be shared with someone else who then shares it with another someone and the cycle goes on and on. Sometimes, we don’t even stop to think if it’s true or not, we just can’t wait to get it off our chests. So yeah, I get it, but what we don’t realize is the effect it has on the person being gossiped. May be it’s true, its something they had done in the past. Some thing they wish they hadn’t, but they did. It doesn’t do to go about tarnishing their present just because of a silly thing they did in the past. And if it’s false, what does that make us? Going around spreading things that turn out to be untrue, liars?

About some days ago, my friend/Sister heard a thing that I wish she hadn’t. Being a half Nigerian, half Indian, a lot of Tribalist Nigerian girls look at her as downright trashy ( personally, I think they wish they were her). Being a mixture of two rich cultures, no doubt about it she is beautiful. She often has earphones in her ears (even when she’s not listening to music), so unintentionally, a lot of people automatically think she is listening to music or whatever even when she’s not

Well, she was sitting in school during a break with her earphones plugged in (but off), when 3 Nigerian girls passed her. And voila, the gossiping began, not knowing she could hear them.

One of them began,
“is this the xxx that everyone says is really beautiful, she doesn’t look fine to me at all”. “She has a nice shape they say,I don’t see it”. “Oh she’s the one that chases men around” “I don’t know what they see in her” …

                   A few other things were said that I can’t remember.

                  Lord knows how my friend felt when she heard those things said about her that were false. Just rumors that people cooked up to make themselves feel better. She pretended like it was nothing and shrugged the rumors off, but I know she felt bad. And she didn’t say anything to the girls, she could have, but she didn’t. She knew they didn’t know she was listening, so she shut them up in a discreet way and went about her way. While they were still talking, she saw a familiar face passing and called out to her, that made the gossiping girls scurry along. Of course, they couldn’t say what they had just finished discussing to her face.

If it was you, what would you have done. Would you have taken the highroad and Let it be, would you have given them a dignified response, or would that have been a base for some serious mouth-fight?

Bring Back Our Girls: 5 months; An enraged citizen

Bring Back Our Girls: 5 months; An enraged citizen

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I belong to a country whose president cares more about campaigning for re-election (despite the massive failure of his two terms) than finding and bringing back over 200 abducted teenage girls. Yes, not one or even two, but over two hundred teenage girls were abducted from their school in the north-eastern part of Nigeria; today marks 150 days since their abduction and still, Nothing. I can’t begin to phantom what the families of these girls are going through. Protests upon protests, mass media coverage, international celebrity involvement, UNICEF- have all spoken out and are enraged in the abduction of the Girls and yet, all we got from the presidential villa was a speech by the First Lady filled with previously unimaginable grammatical blunders and fake tears.
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For a country known to be the Giant of Africa, this is a huge embarrassment and a disgrace. Just because these girls come from lower class or rural areas doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the highest amount of effort into finding them. Five months! Lord only knows the physical, mental and psychological trauma those girls are going through right now.

Everyday, I log onto twitter and I see the hashtag ‘ForwardNigeria’ stating the improvement in our agricultural sector, revenue generated from oil export, new infrastructures. But in my eyes, there is no forward without those girls. Over 200 girls can’t just vanish and then be swept under the rug. No! If ever there is a justification for being enraged, then this is it. The lack of effort by the presidency in finding those girls is pathetic. They “say” they are trying, but come on, it’s been 5 MONTHS.

It is my duty and your duty as individuals, especially citizens of Nigeria to speak out, voice your airs on the lack of sufficient action in finding the girls. Use the hashtag #BringBackOurGirls and spread the word. We owe it to those girls to make sure they are not forgotten.
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Humility In Failure

Humility In Failure

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         You know those censored words that aren’t allowed on TV, yeah well, I had a boat load of them in my head to describe the gruesome exam I wrote yesterday. It was that bad. During the exam, I almost blurted out ‘how on earth do you expect us to know?’ to some ridiculous questions. Scanning through the questions, my reaction was basically “seriously…

                                                                    SERiously…
                                                                           SERIOUSLY!!!”

           It was a nerve wrecking day. I was disappointed; at myself and also at the questions too. I had been preparing for the exam for over a month and to walk out of the hall unsure of my result fate, it was downing. And then, I remembered this quote:
                “During hard times, patience is rewarding
                 During good times, gratitude is rewarding…. There’s no loss in life”

           Medical school has not been easy. But each time I write an exam, I come out feeling i did my best, knowing I passed the test. So when people complained that theirs was hard or confusing or just ridiculous, I didn’t get it. Of course I sympathized with them and all, but the truth is I had no idea what they were going through. Now I know how it hurts to read your ass off and then go to the examination room, see the question and feel foolish.

         In a way, it’s humbled me. I wont judge anyone for not doing well in an exam- lord knows what they went through while reading. I figured I could sit on the bed, cry, call my mum, complain and then comfort eat (which I almost did). Or I could take this as one of those tests in life, keep calm, have faith and just see what happens. So there is the fear of what if I fail; but heres the thing, what if I pass. And even if the results isn’t what I had hoped, it’s not the end of the world.

           It’s not going to be easy, I know that- to accept what faith throws at us with humility and stand without breaking; it’s going to be hard, but we’ll make it. And if you don’t think you can rise from failure, just remember- Oprah was fired from her job as a news anchor because they said ‘she wasn’t fit for TV’ and now, she’s the frigging Queen. That should motivate you. 

        In the meantime, always remember failure is just another stepping stone to success. 

                                How do you cope with failure?

Embracing Our Ambitions

Embracing Our Ambitions

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We live in a generation where every single thing we do and say, even the littlest detail is scrutinized and criticized. Thus, making it easier for people to wall up and avoid their true calling and way harder to follow the path that they should be taking.

I remember when I first started to write poetry, it was in high school, and where I come from, they don’t get it. Anything that deviates from the traditional “medicine, accounting or engineering” gets a whole lot of resistance. And when you write, you instantly become one with your work, and it hurts when people don’t get it.

But here’s the thing, it shouldn’t matter what they say. I know it does matter, but it shouldn’t. Those people trying to diminish your spirit arent going to live your life for you. It’s your life to live, it’s your mistake to make and it’s your path to choose. If painting is what you love to do, then my dears, paint your hands off. If cooking is your passion, then set the kitchen on fire ( not literally though). The point is, there’s going to be resistance anyway, so just do what you would be happy the rest of your life doing.

It will be ridiculous of me to say it is easy, cause it’s not. There’s going to be people who’d hate what you do along the way, and you just gotta have a thick skin. Words would hurt but you don’t let it show, because the bigger picture is all that matters in the end.

So my dears, pick up those paint brushes, or the clay pot mix, or a pen and paper- whatever it is, block the world out and just do it. You really never know until you try and embrace it wholeheartedly. And remember, we owe it to ourselves to at least give it our all.

Here’s a little quote to sleep on: Don’t allow the world to define your greatness for most of this world is blind.