Mental Health Friday #6

Mental Health Friday #6

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What NOT to say to an ill person:

1)“You look terrible. How are you feeling?”: I am pretty sure if a person looks terrible, chances are, they feel terrible too. And I am also sure the right conforming answer here would be: I’m fine

2) “You’re looking thin, you sure have lost a lot of weight, I know its hard but you should really eat.”: I should point here that for a person going through chemo, this is totally inappropriate, because a) they do not have the appetite to eat courtesy of nausea and vomiting b) it doesn’t matter how much they eat, weight loss is a side effect of the chemo.

3)”Awe you don’t look so good, treatments are rough eh?”- but of course they are rough. Drugs especially, psychotropic drugs change the biological and chemical balance in our body.

4)”Well my (mum, dad, uncle, friend, relative) had a similar problem and they tried (?????) and it worked. You should do that cause it makes it go away”

5) “You’re looking a little stressed. Are your treatments going ok?”: and if you say they aren’t, I have a feeling the next statement would be no(6) below.

6) “well just keep praying”.

The above list was compiled and sent to me by Colin from meandray.com who is one of my greatest Mental Health Friday supporters since day one.

And it’s another Friday, which means another Mental Health Friday. I would love to do another of this list. So, if you were having a chronic Illness or mental illness, what are some of the things you wouldn’t want someone to say to you? Please leave a comment and I’ll be sure to include it in next week plus the link.

P.S: an MHF story would be published later in the day. Stay tuned and looking forward to hearing from you.

IMAGE CREDIT: Whisper.sh

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Mental Health Friday #2

Mental Health Friday #2

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My story? Do you want short or long version? Oh who am I kidding, there is no short version with me. So, first of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Dawn, I come from one very small European country and I’m 24 y/o. Right now I’m sitting at home, smoking a cigarette, sipping coffee and listening to one awesome song on one hour loop. All good, all normal. I’m in my parents living room and you woudn’t find anything unusual here until your eye would catch one particular stack – stack of my pills. In the beginning, I would hide my pills far away, not that others can’t see them, but so that I can pretend they don’t exist. Let me get clear here, I’m not parading my pills infront of guest, but they became something that I have to take in specific time and it’s easier to remember to take them if you can SEE them.

My problems started around the age of 17 when I was in my first relationship. It was intense, nothing I experienced before or after. Yes, I’m married now and I love my husband, but that first love was something different- Unhealthy. He was like sugar to a diabetic, at the same time so usual, normal, sweet but also deadly. In the beginning, everything was awesome. We were spending every second together, but as time passed by, he was getting more distanced and colder. He would blow me off to go play games and that was a trigger which opened pandoras box inside of me.

I had strong, obsessive, unwanted thoughts. Voice in my head was saying, “leave him, break up with him“ and I was fighting it as much as I could. One day, I was screaming outside of a coffee place because the anxiety was so strong, I felt suffocated. I decided to take a break from him, from us, in hope that those thoughts would stop and everything would go back to normal. It didn’t. We got back together, then broke up again. Got back together, broke up. In-between those ,”together“ parts, he was cheating on me. It made me feel sick but it never crossed my mind that he is not worth it, that “we“ as a couple, were not worth it. There was nothing for us to talk about and nothing to do except have sex and talk about games. That “on and off“ period got really long, it lasted for 6 months I think, and it really killed my confidence in love, life and myself.

Anxiety was pretty hard, school bothered me more than usual and I changed overnight. From the innocent little girl, I became a booty-call for someone who doesn’t even know what loving anyone but himself means. I got so dependent, my day would consist of waiting for him to call me and crying because he didn’t. I even had some crazy ideas like “if I don’t smoke for next hour, and don’t touch my phone for a 30 minutes after that he will call“. I was a train-wreck, but since I told no one what I was doing and what I was thinking, there was no one to tell me to get some help, no one to guide me. So, I contacted “doctor google“.

The thoughts were getting pretty rough, violent. After some time, I did tell my mom what was going on, but she never took is as serious as it was and it kind of just stopped on it’s own. I don’t blame her for not reacting because she didn’t know much about anxiety or OCD so she thought that I was simply being a teen. Weird teen, but normal at the same time. Read more

Mental Health Fridays: Blurring out the stigma

Mental Health Fridays: Blurring out the stigma

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Mental Health Fridays is a new feature I have created on this blog. The main aim is to share stories needing to be told at the same time, blurring out the stigma associated with mental illnesses. There are two things I am unashamedly passionate about: the first is writing while the second is mental health advocacy. There’s no greater Joy of mine than to be able to join these two passions together.

It’s been one year since I joined the blogosphere and I figure, what better time to start than now. If you’ve got a mental health story which needs to be told, I would love to hear it. Your submissions could be on:
1) personal mental health journeys
2) loved ones battling mental illnesses
3) losing someone to mental illness
4) an experience related to mental health
5) basically anything that could pass as a mental health category

The important thing here is, let’s get talking and blur out the stigma. But to do this, I need your help. Maya Angleou rightly said, “there is no greater agony tha bearing an untold story”. 

I am looking forward to hearing from you, learning from your stories and coming together to blur out the stigma. If you’ve got any questions, you can leave a comment on this post or send me an email.
                    Can’t wait to hear from you: mykahani@yahoo.com