On the outside, No 18, Murray street resembled any typical suburban house with outside porch and orange colored walls surrounded by well-gardened plants. The dream-catchers in the porch gave it a more homely look. On the inside, lived a disturbed being whose goal was making the life of one woman a living hell.
Scruffy brunette hair with rectangular glasses sitting on his nose bridge; a mustache and barely grown goatee completed the eccentric look. He was known simply as H.
H stared at three screens sitting in front of him as he contemplated which to focus his attention on. Finally, a clown face appeared on one screen and his gaze turned towards it, in time to see Allison drop a vase out of fright. He grinned, anything that makes Allison cringe was music to his ears.
H’s attention turned to another screen which displayed a number sequence. He pressed the enter button and a message indicating $50,000 money transaction appeared. His pulse raced and his lips curved upward.
Let the games begin.
Word count: 172. This week’s response to Flash Fiction for aspiring Writers photo prompt challenge. Thank you PJ and Dawn MILLER for this wonderful picture. Here are: part1 part2 part3 part4 part5
Question: do you think the arrangement of the paragraphs would work better if the 2nd paragraph (on the outside..) was first and the first paragraph, second? Thanks