I Trusted you-

I Trusted you-

by Ameena k.g

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The truth is- it’s not love that screwed me over; a repressed memory which surfaced turning my life upside down; or a cry for help gone unanswered… It was just one thing, trusting you.

Trust me, you’ll say. Each time a doubt crept in me, you’d echo it. Each time my insides churned at your actions, you’d utter those two words.

Trust me… and I trusted you. More than my self, more than my gut instinct. Over any friend, family, outsider, I trusted you! How could I not. You put a ring on my finger and a baby in my womb. How could I not trust the one I considered half of me, “my better half”, we were starting a family together- I trusted you.

I should have trusted the way your eyes wandered off each time we were out together; I should have trusted the way your nose flared and your fists battled with the walls; I should have trusted the “but” buzzing in my head when it was time to say I do. I didn’t, and the should haves are eating at what’s left of my soul.

Trust me, you’ll say. And I did, when I should have trusted in the creator , the one who made you from dust. Now, I know better than to take your words for more than they truly are- a grain of salt.

The above Image is courtesy of Lovethispic.com

52 thoughts on “I Trusted you-”

  4. Wow so powerful. And then on top of it all, you beat yourself up for not listening to your gut!! UGH! Beautifully written, been there too!! Not so far as marriage and a baby but my first love…and of course that’s when you are the most trusting…I love the way you write!! 🙂

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  8. The issue of trust. Perhaps some day people will learn that trusting any other is a very dangerous game, and also pointless. The best relationship is the one not based on trust because trust implies expectations. To have expectations of another human being is to lack in powers of observation. When it comes to relationships, the one thing humans can be counted upon is to fail; to renege on their promises and if pressed, to get moody, perhaps even violent. Binder Dundat… 🙂 So now, I trust “me” and no one else. That means I don’t put burdens on others to perform according to my personal dreams, wishes, or moods. When it comes to trust… “Now, I know better than to take your words for more than they truly are- a grain of salt.” Great write, whether a personal experience or fiction – and when the reader can’t tell, an even better effort.

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    1. Having expectations of people is one of the major problem I have so I relate with your comment above. When i love, I expect and it’s in human nature I guess to fail, hence the cycle of pain and hurt.
      But then, I wonder, is it possible to love someone without trusting them?

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      1. ” is it possible to love someone without trusting them?” I would say, no. Love implies need; need implies trust. A needy person seeks love because love is reciprocal and that’s its Achilles heel. Love is, “you make me feel so good, so special, that’s why I love you.” But when the feeling goes, or the feeling supply fails, love collapses or changes into something much less desirable, perhaps even execrable. There is another way to “love” others without love or trusting, and that’s through compassion. A compassionate person is self-empowered and needs nothing back from another, or others. Compassion gives, it never takes. When you love and trust someone, you’re taking out a loan. A compassionate being never goes into debt: its giving is chosen, desired, never dependent upon non-personal or external conditions or circumstances. It emanates from within itself, a source that cannot fail because only the wielder can access it. You could call it magic and you wouldn’t be far wrong. You could call it the light side of the Force minus the cumbersome light saber.

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      1. I relate to so much of your incredibly beautiful work because i have ALWAYS thought you are extremely talented my friend♡

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    1. Thank you Hargun I’m glad you think so. Writing things down help me in reflection and a lot of times in acceptance. This was inspired a memory (though not a literal replica). I am doing great! Renewed. 😄

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  20. Exactly my thoughts. 🙂
    I loved it word by word.
    The quote. You wrote that?:-\
    I penned one of a similar kind.
    “Mistake isn’t yours; it’s mine. When one starts to care more, the other one automatically does less.” Hope you’re having a nice time.

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