And I smile-

When I think of him, I smile. I smile at my naivety, which some may call, stupidity. I smile at the insane idea, I could have anything- just, about anything. Beauty, brains, career, every single dream accomplished and still have that love by my side. Who was I kidding. I could try, I did try… The moment I grasped one, another slipped right through my fingers. And I smile, I can’t help but smile… It’s the only way I can breathe in air without drops falling out of my eyes.

“It’s me or it”, he said with eyes reflecting the winter weather- they were white and cold, nothing like I’d ever seen. I smile cause I didn’t see it coming. It was either him or it- he placed me in a position to make a ludicrous choice. But to me- he was never a choice, never an option, always a definite.

And at that moment, standing at the junction- I could see his bus moving. He never wanted to stay in the first place. And I let him go… He fluttered away like a newly hatched butterfly and I stood there, trying to make sense with the little rationale left of me. “What just happened?” I found myself asking rhetorically, time after time after time; The only answer- Maybe, they were right. Maybe, I can’t have it all at the same time. 

Image courtesy of : Chapter of my life on tumblr.