If there’s one thing you’ve taught me, it is not to expect, from lovers or friends. Love leads to expectation, and inevitably, hurt. Tracing your words backward, I chose to love; It wasn’t much of a choice, I had already fallen. You said I was fragile, how I wish you weren’t right. How I wish my heart was a bounce ball, bouncing back after every squash. But it’s not and I’m fragile, like a mirror, like a glass. Never broken by a single smash, merely a compilation of cracks.
Here I am, now, in the present- a compilation of cracks no one would rather see, rather come close to. In fear of being cut, scarred. You tried to smash me into the wall so i’ll fall back in pieces, but I didn’t. I won’t. You May hurt me, crack me, imprint your scar In me- but you can’t break me. Or maybe I’m just unbreakable. Too frozen to be thawed.
In anyway, you’ve shown me one thing- how badly and desperately I am in need of magic. They say it’s a powerful thing. I need magic to taper down the scars you’ve left on my frail self. I need magic to remind me broken doesn’t mean damaged. I need magic in my life, to ease the hurt, to tame the fear of imprinting others the way you did. But mostly, I need magic to remind me, every moment your memory comes flooding back, why in the first place- i let you go.
I need magic to scream in my head, every time your face flashes back, why you are wrong for me in every possible way. I need magic’s reassurance that I am me and maybe that was too much for you to handle. I need magic to confirm what I already know, maybe letting go isn’t so bad after all.
P.S: this random is now on twitter @wordsofarandom. Let’s connect 😀